Ballin News

Crammin your tiny skull with pure, hot news, one word at a time.

Hitler's Return?

Hitler's leg is healing, his fingers have been reattatched, and he can almost breathe without assistance. Is his return to the sport imminent?

View details »

Castro Dry?

Some are speculating that Castro's recent slip in the ranking is due to neglecting his daily testosterone injections. Find out more!

View details »

Bush Affair?

Bush probably isnt actually having an affair, but we wrote an article speculating about it anyways! Click here to find out more!

View details »

Kim: A Family Legacy

A brief look at the Kims and their lesser known relative Kim Ding-dong

View details »

Cheese with that Whine?

A small group of lawyers are demanding changes to the game, including banning poisoned shoe spikes, kidnapping of family members, and bribes over $5000. Are these bearecrats going too far in the name of safety?

View details »

2014 Season Recap

A recap of the classic 2014 season by our best sports writer, Hurricane Harry.

View details »